Don't Let Go by Elisabeth Staab

Author:Elisabeth Staab [Staab, Elisabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Romance
Publisher: Elisabeth Staab
Published: 2018-01-16T00:00:00+00:00

Alonzo

I don’t say much to Haas while we get dressed. Still don’t as we make our way to the diner to pick up breakfast.

We make the occasional polite chitchat while we’re eating and getting back on the road and figuring out which route to take. Inside, my head is spinning with things I can’t quite hold on to.

“We should head south on Route 19,” Haas says.

Are you sure, because my GPS says to take 436, and by the way, I can still feel you inside me and I want to do it again, but I’m not sure I can take the way all of that with you made me feel. People don’t tell me what to do in bed, Haas, I do the telling. Still can’t figure out how I liked it so much, all that dirty talk and manhandling.

I shake off my insanity. No way I’m saying that shit out loud.

See, it isn’t lying if I plain old don’t say it out loud. It’s not as if letting another guy see my inner squishy side has worked out well for me in the past.

“So.” Haas slaps his hand on my upper thigh while I’m staring hard at the road—the one my GPS told us to take, thank you so fucking much. “You gonna tell me where it is we’re going that’s so important, beyond ‘the beach?’ A real answer this time?”

Now this is tricky. I dodged his question before. I don’t like to lie, but Haas can’t know what I’ve got planned. That’d be bad for us both.

“Someone hurt a person I care about. I’m going to go and get something that can help put things right.”

There. The truth…some of it.

Haas is quiet for a while. Long enough that I get antsy and want to fill the silence. I wonder if this is how he gets people to confess, or whatever it is he does when he arrests people. Suddenly I’m grateful the time he brought me in was only a drunk-and-disorderly thing.

“And how do you plan to do that,” he asks after the world’s most ass-clenching silence.

I take a long, deep breath. Then I take another.

“Alonzo…”

“Yeah?” I hit the brakes to avoid a tire tread in the road.

“You need to pull over?”

“I’m okay to drive, man.”

“Then you’re stalling.”

Maybe I am. Maybe I want to keep my mouth shut because the way he says my name reminds me of getting wrecked on the bathroom counter back at that Super 6 or Deluxe 7 or whatever that motel was called. It’s messing with my head.

There’s this churning in my stomach that makes me wonder if I’m feeling guilty for being disloyal to Terrence, or for not giving Haas the whole truth. Or maybe I’m just fucking confused because I didn’t hate what Haas and I did together, and I don’t hate the idea of doing it again. It’s weird because I actually think Terrence would have sort of liked Haas.

Everything always comes back around to Terrence.

Two years you’ve been dead, and I still see you when I close my eyes, baby.

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